Product Review: Kale Krunch Quite Cheezy Kale Chips

From what I’ve seen, vegans love to make their own kale chips. I wanted to join in on all the kale fun, so I decided to make a DIY batch.

They were awful. Like little dried up packets of grass with a suggestion of olive oil.

However, I figured it wasn’t the idea of kale chips, just my attempt, since vegans also love packaged, seasoned kale chips. When I saw these Kale Krunch chips in the market, I decided to try again. (If at first you don’t succeed…)

These chips, even though they’re desiccated greens, are actually quite sturdy. They’re liberally coated in powder, which according to the package is a mixture of cashews, red bell peppers, salt, nutritional yeast, chia seeds and lemon juice. Although that sounds pretty New-Age-y and health-food-ish (which to be honest, I’m all for), their “cheeziness” taste is super reminiscent of Cheez-its.

It’s as if they took a bunch of cheez-its, smashed them, and poured the mixture all over the dehydrated kale! So. good.

The bag is supposed to hold 2.2 servings, which in and of itself is a semi-random amount, but I usually eat the bag in one sitting. What can I say, in my pre-vegan days I loved Cheez-its! And with these I get to feel like I’m ingesting 2.2 servings of veggies 🙂

My one gripe is that half of the chips are huge, like half the size of my hand. I have to awkwardly bite them in half with my teeth while cupping one hand under my mouth to catch the severed part. The other 50 percent of the chips are super small, like flakes, and I literally ladle them up with a spoon.

I understand that there will be some size irregularity due to the “straight from nature” source of the chip base, but I’d love if Kale Krunch could even things out a bit.

Cost: $5.49 (I know… still hasn’t stopped me from buying three bags in two days)

Rating: 9/10

Would I buy again: Asked and answered 🙂

 

Restaurant Review: Root, Boston

Yesterday, I ventured out to Root, an all-vegan restaurant and “juicery” that was on my Boston Vegan Bucket List!

Right next to it were two other places I’ve got to try at some point–Grasshopper and FoMu. I almost wished I could do the Hobbit thing and have two lunches.

The interior was super cute and packed with young, hip friends and couples, along with a couple of families. Full disclosure: I felt cooler just being in there.

Bicycle art

Picking just one dish was really hard, but I went for the Sweet Potato Quesidilla: sweet potato, sauteed onion and kale, lathered in a creamy cashew sauce. It was under the “Small Bites” section of the menu, but it felt pretty big to me.

The warm, super crispy tortillas were smeared generously with the sauce, which was super rich and cheesy-tasting. I definitely felt like I was eating a traditional dairy-based quesadilla. However, this one was elevated by the unique flavor play of its ingredients. The carmelized onions were absolutely delicious: sweet, soft and oily. The kale wouldn’t have been my first choice for greens, because even cooked it was bitter, but this did help balance out the sweet potato and the onion.

I actually expected this to taste more sweet-potatoey (sensing a trend here) but as you can see in the picture, the slices were relatively thin. Although this was super good,some more tater would have been nice.

After half of the quesadilla, I was absolutely stuffed! Which reminds me… I still have the second half in the fridge.

I think Root has an abundance of creative, tasty options. I’ll definitely have to come back–after I go to Grasshopper and FoMu, that is.

Cost: $8

Rating: 7.5/10

Would I buy again: Yes

Product Review: Way Better Simply Sweet Potato Tortilla Chips

These are a health freak’s dream: sweet potato tortilla chips with organic sprouted quinoa and chia seeds. I’m a health freak. These, therefore, are my dream. Right?

If only. I saw a bunch of other vegans extolling this chip’s praises, so I was super excited to try them out for myself.

I poured myself a plate. (All the bowls were dirty.)

I took a contemplative bite. (As all my first bites are.)

I tasted… regular ol’ tortilla chips. As in, extremely corn-y.

Where was the sweet potato? Where was the chia? Where was the quinoa? Where were all the lovely flavors that informed me I was making a decision that was good for me, gosh darn it?!? Nowhere to be found. If I closed my eyes, I could be reaching into a bag of Tostito’s. There was maybe a faint, faint aftertaste of sweet potato… but I had to try very hard to pick it up, and honestly, it kind of reminded me of fake wine-tasters who swear they can detect honey or jasmine.

As far as tortilla chips go, these were decent: light, not too greasy, would pair well with guac or salsa. But if you’re looking for a uniquely flavored chip, you won’t find it here.

Cost: $3.50

Rating: 5/10

Would I buy again: No

Product Review: Trader Joe’s Chickenless Mandarin Orange Chicken Morsels

It’s funny how many cuisines America has taken over and completely bastardized. Mexican became Taco Bell, Del Taco, Rubio’s, and Chipotle. Chinese became Pick Up Stix and Panda Express. Italian became Olive Garden, Parisian became Au Bon Pain–we’ve even bastardized our own cooking, turning good ol’ American into McDonald’s and Wendy’s.

These Chickenless Mandarin Orange Chicken Morsels are about six degrees removed from their origins, I’m sure.

When I took them out of the package, they looked exactly like chicken nuggets. Baking them, which turned them crispy and golden, only increased the resemblance. Plus the whole house was filled with a scent very similar to… you guessed it, chicken nuggets. I was eager to see if they would taste like the little nugs I had enjoyed so often in my youth. (Before Fast Food Nation turned me off of McDonald’s and Eating Animals turned me off of meat.)

These come with a good amount of sauce; even though I accidentally squirted a bunch of my counter-top, the remainder was more than enough to coat all of the pieces. The bag said this was two servings, but to me it looked like one. 😉

And yep, it tasted like chicken nuggets! Chicken nuggets covered in orange chicken sauce, that is. The sauce was pretty flavorful: mostly sweet, with a slight salty tang. It definitely tasted like mandarin oranges. So I guess TJ’s has their mandarin orange game down.

However, I was mainly impressed with the chickenless morsels. They were crunchy on the outside and soft and warm on the inside, exactly how a breaded nugget should taste. Unlike many soy products, they didn’t have a distinguishable faux-meat taste. Even better, they held up pretty well overnight, refusing to get soggy despite being coated in sauce.

Check out another review of these guys by What’s Good at Trader Joe’s!

Cost: $3.99

Rating: 7/10

Would I buy again: Yes

 

Product Review: Primal Strips Texas BBQ Vegan Jerky

My foray into fake meat (collective shudder from the carnivorous world) continues! I hate to prove the carnis right, buuut… this Texas BBQ flavor was a definite let-down compared to the Mesquite Lime.

On the outside, it looked the same. However, texturally it was way less soft or pliable; although I enjoy a mouth work-out just like any other normal person (oh gosh, I should probably edit that out) this went from pleasantly chewy to “gnawing” status. It also tasted like imitation meat, which is pretty much the number one sin when it comes to vegan or vegetarian food. Replacement meat products will never be as good or better than real meat, in my opinion, so they should have their own unique flavor.

Apart from the fake meatiness, the sauce on this wasn’t very good either. It was recognizable as bbq sauce–I picked up on notes of maple syrup, vinegar, and liquid smoke–but it was a watered-down version.

I ate the whole thing, but I was mechanically chewing my way through it.

Cost: C/O

Rating: 3/10

Would I buy again: No

Product Review: Primal Strips Mesquite Lime Vegan Jerky

My Great Books I: Introduction to Classical Literature course got seriously wacky. Case in point: we started discussing “meat globes.” If you have no idea what a meat globe is, that’s because my class invented the concept. It’s essentially a basketball. Of meat. Pretty sure even non-vegans would find that unappealing.

Anyways, it got me thinking about weird meat forms, which inevitably led me to Slim Jims. Remember those?!? I used to love them. In writing this post I discovered their title is “Giant Meat Sticks.” So I guess they’re really not too far off from meat globes!

I stopped eating them when I realized I had no idea what the heck was in ’em. Sorry, but “meat” is too ambiguous for me.

Good news! This Primal Strips Mesquite Lime vegan jerky tasted exactly like a Slim Jim!

I ate this on a “bottomless pit” night because I figured its whopping 10 grams of protein would fill me up. And that it did–plus it was very, very tasty.

Lime earned its place in the title, because this was extremely citrus-y. It gave the jerky a wonderful tang. There was a hint of sweetness balancing out the acidity, but overall this was pretty salty. I mean, what do you expect? It’s jerky.

Some people might have problems with the texture. I started hearing that Finding Nemo mantra in my head: “just keep chewing, just keep chewing…” But I kind of dug it. It made my little strip last way longer than I expected.

Good thing this tastes way better than it looks.

This was also super moist–some would go as far as oily. That wasn’t a bad thing to me. I really liked how closely this approximated traditional “meat sticks.”

Okay, okay, my one qualm. The after-taste was a little odd, kind of gummy, I’d say. But that’s grasping at straws.

Cost: C/O. From looking online it seems they sell for about $1.12 per package

Rating: 8/10

Would I buy again: Heck yeah!

 

Product Review: Trader Joe’s Dried Mandarin Oranges

Mandarin oranges have a special place in my heart. When I was a kid, I loved to crack open a can of them and slurp up those neon orange segments with gusto. Of course, the syrupy, fructose-y liquid at the bottom of the can was the highlight. My palate became more sophisticated with age. I began adding mandarin oranges to salads, tossing them in with fresh spinach, cranberries, almonds, red onion rounds, red wine vinegar, and olive oil. When I saw these dried mandarin oranges at Trader Joes, I was super excited to have found a whole new way to enjoy the fruit! (Okay, not super excited. Just a little jazzed. I don’t want you guys to think I’m a freak or anything.)

 

Okay, so you know how dried mangoes kind of taste like mangoes but also not really? Well, these taste exactly like mandarin oranges. Their exterior is hard, but inside it’s a fresh, tangy burst of sweet citrus. These literally explode on your tongue, kind of like Gushers. However, they don’t taste fake or processed–I even got a slightly sour segment, just as if I was eating “real” oranges. Other reviewers have called them dehydrated fruit. I think that’s misleading, as the dehydrated apple, banana, and pear slices I’ve tried are airy, porous, and completely devoid of moisture, while these are thicker and filled with juice.

The serving size of these was quite decent, so although I was gobbling them down, I didn’t feel at all deprived. They were dessert-like yet light. I absolutely loved them and will definitely be buying a second bag.

Cost: $4 (if I remember correctly)

Rating: 8/10

Would I buy again: Yes

Cost: $

Product Review: Rhubarb and Custard Nakd Bar

A recent Tweet of mine: “I’ve forgotten my keys, I’ve forgotten my textbooks, I’ve even forgotten my wallet… But I’ve never forgotten my emergency snack. #priorities”

So does this Rhubarb and Custard Nakd bar deserve to be an emergency snack? Well, it was in my bag yesterday during class when I went from neutral to ravenous in like five seconds, so I got a chance to find out.

 

Full disclosure: I’ve never tried rhubarb. However, I’m not sure that was a complication, because there isn’t any rhubarb in this! Odd…

Unlike a lot of date and nut bars, this wasn’t oily, which I liked. It was reasonably firm, which I also liked, and broke off into decently-sized chunks without any crumblage. Despite the apparent-to-the-eye cashew flecks, the bar had a really even consistency in my mouth.

But it was sweet–really sweet, and I’m usually one of those people who thinks “too sweet” is an oxymoron. Maybe there are one too many dates in this flavor, because I found it overwhelming. This also didn’t have a distinctly fruity taste–I mainly picked up on the sugar and the nuts.

Cost: $.076

Rating: 5/10

Would I buy again: No

Product Review: Amy’s Gluten Free Teriyaki Wrap

I’ve made it my mission to try every vegan burrito known to man-kind. The Kyoto burrito, the basic beans n’ rice burrito, the sushi burrito, the tofu burrito, the black bean burrito, the sweet potato burrito, the samosa burrito… Okay, now I’m just thinking of foods I like and adding burrito the end. The latest on my burrito bucket list was Amy’s Gluten Free Teriyaki Wrap. Sigh, buying the gluten free was a total accident.

This has a lot of great stuff in it, including  brown rice, tofu, soy beans, mushrooms, green beans, carrots, water chestnuts, tamari, and pineapple juice. So, basically stir-fry in a tortilla!

Like all Amy’s burritos, it’s a little on the small side. However, the tortilla held up nicely!

This wasn’t very flavorful until I drenched it in soy sauce. Although it had the traditional teriyaki flavor, it was pretty faint. (Actually, I just realized the sauce was almost exactly like the sauce in Amy’s Light and Lean Sweet and Sour bowl.) I wanted this to be either sweeter or saltier–the bland, “no man’s land” taste wasn’t doing it for me. On the plus side, this had a good mix of tofu, veggies, and rice, and I loved the thickness of the tortilla.

Cost: $2.44

Rating: 5/10

Would I buy again: No

 

Product Review: Sweet Earth Kyoto Burrito

This is kind of embarrassing, but I yelped when I saw my Target carried Sweet Earth burritos. Hand over heart, I saw a woman who was perusing the ice cream turn around and ask, “Is there a dog in here?”

I was just super excited, because I’ve read great things about this brand on Another Hungry Vegan (one of my favorite vegan food blogs, by the way, and an inspiration for my site!)

It was definitely a trial deciding which one to buy, but I finally settled on the Kyoto: Japanese adzuki beans, edemame, baby bok choy, fresh baby spinach, ginger, carrots, brown rice, seitan and shiitake mushrooms. Side-note: why is the spinach the only ingredient that’s “fresh”? I mean, it’s frozen food, so strictly speaking none of this is fresh. Or was the spinach picked right before this burrito was all wrapped up? Another unsolved mystery… Right up there with the Bermuda Triangle.

I thought this was pretty decently-sized–and it has 11 grams of protein, nice! It was so cool, after I microwaved it it smelled like a Japanese restaurant. Unexpected and awesome, like hearing an African-American with a British accent. The worlds-colliding factor definitely worked in this burrito’s favor. The light, yes, fresh-tasting veggies paired really well with the flour tortilla. In fact, the vegetables were the dominant flavor–I couldn’t really pick up on the brown rice, although I did get one particularly satisfying chunk of seitan. (Sweet Earth Foods knows what they’re doing with their seitan.)

Don’t let it’s un-photogenicness scare you.

 

If you love edemame beans, you’ll love this burrito, because it was crammed full of them. Altogther, I thought it was a delicious, unique variation on the classic burrito. The flavors melded together wonderfully and the dish was light yet filling. My one complaint: the tortilla cooked a little un-evenly… but I’m chalking that up to the microwave’s fault.

Cost: $3.99

Rating: 7/10

Would I buy again: Yes