Product Review: Primal Strips Texas BBQ Vegan Jerky

My foray into fake meat (collective shudder from the carnivorous world) continues! I hate to prove the carnis right, buuut… this Texas BBQ flavor was a definite let-down compared to the Mesquite Lime.

On the outside, it looked the same. However, texturally it was way less soft or pliable; although I enjoy a mouth work-out just like any other normal person (oh gosh, I should probably edit that out) this went from pleasantly chewy to “gnawing” status. It also tasted like imitation meat, which is pretty much the number one sin when it comes to vegan or vegetarian food. Replacement meat products will never be as good or better than real meat, in my opinion, so they should have their own unique flavor.

Apart from the fake meatiness, the sauce on this wasn’t very good either. It was recognizable as bbq sauce–I picked up on notes of maple syrup, vinegar, and liquid smoke–but it was a watered-down version.

I ate the whole thing, but I was mechanically chewing my way through it.

Cost: C/O

Rating: 3/10

Would I buy again: No

Product Review: Primal Strips Mesquite Lime Vegan Jerky

My Great Books I: Introduction to Classical Literature course got seriously wacky. Case in point: we started discussing “meat globes.” If you have no idea what a meat globe is, that’s because my class invented the concept. It’s essentially a basketball. Of meat. Pretty sure even non-vegans would find that unappealing.

Anyways, it got me thinking about weird meat forms, which inevitably led me to Slim Jims. Remember those?!? I used to love them. In writing this post I discovered their title is “Giant Meat Sticks.” So I guess they’re really not too far off from meat globes!

I stopped eating them when I realized I had no idea what the heck was in ’em. Sorry, but “meat” is too ambiguous for me.

Good news! This Primal Strips Mesquite Lime vegan jerky tasted exactly like a Slim Jim!

I ate this on a “bottomless pit” night because I figured its whopping 10 grams of protein would fill me up. And that it did–plus it was very, very tasty.

Lime earned its place in the title, because this was extremely citrus-y. It gave the jerky a wonderful tang. There was a hint of sweetness balancing out the acidity, but overall this was pretty salty. I mean, what do you expect? It’s jerky.

Some people might have problems with the texture. I started hearing that Finding Nemo mantra in my head: “just keep chewing, just keep chewing…” But I kind of dug it. It made my little strip last way longer than I expected.

Good thing this tastes way better than it looks.

This was also super moist–some would go as far as oily. That wasn’t a bad thing to me. I really liked how closely this approximated traditional “meat sticks.”

Okay, okay, my one qualm. The after-taste was a little odd, kind of gummy, I’d say. But that’s grasping at straws.

Cost: C/O. From looking online it seems they sell for about $1.12 per package

Rating: 8/10

Would I buy again: Heck yeah!