Product Review: Trader Joe’s Dried Mandarin Oranges

Mandarin oranges have a special place in my heart. When I was a kid, I loved to crack open a can of them and slurp up those neon orange segments with gusto. Of course, the syrupy, fructose-y liquid at the bottom of the can was the highlight. My palate became more sophisticated with age. I began adding mandarin oranges to salads, tossing them in with fresh spinach, cranberries, almonds, red onion rounds, red wine vinegar, and olive oil. When I saw these dried mandarin oranges at Trader Joes, I was super excited to have found a whole new way to enjoy the fruit! (Okay, not super excited. Just a little jazzed. I don’t want you guys to think I’m a freak or anything.)

 

Okay, so you know how dried mangoes kind of taste like mangoes but also not really? Well, these taste exactly like mandarin oranges. Their exterior is hard, but inside it’s a fresh, tangy burst of sweet citrus. These literally explode on your tongue, kind of like Gushers. However, they don’t taste fake or processed–I even got a slightly sour segment, just as if I was eating “real” oranges. Other reviewers have called them dehydrated fruit. I think that’s misleading, as the dehydrated apple, banana, and pear slices I’ve tried are airy, porous, and completely devoid of moisture, while these are thicker and filled with juice.

The serving size of these was quite decent, so although I was gobbling them down, I didn’t feel at all deprived. They were dessert-like yet light. I absolutely loved them and will definitely be buying a second bag.

Cost: $4 (if I remember correctly)

Rating: 8/10

Would I buy again: Yes

Cost: $

Product Review: Amy’s Gluten Free Teriyaki Wrap

I’ve made it my mission to try every vegan burrito known to man-kind. The Kyoto burrito, the basic beans n’ rice burrito, the sushi burrito, the tofu burrito, the black bean burrito, the sweet potato burrito, the samosa burrito… Okay, now I’m just thinking of foods I like and adding burrito the end. The latest on my burrito bucket list was Amy’s Gluten Free Teriyaki Wrap. Sigh, buying the gluten free was a total accident.

This has a lot of great stuff in it, including  brown rice, tofu, soy beans, mushrooms, green beans, carrots, water chestnuts, tamari, and pineapple juice. So, basically stir-fry in a tortilla!

Like all Amy’s burritos, it’s a little on the small side. However, the tortilla held up nicely!

This wasn’t very flavorful until I drenched it in soy sauce. Although it had the traditional teriyaki flavor, it was pretty faint. (Actually, I just realized the sauce was almost exactly like the sauce in Amy’s Light and Lean Sweet and Sour bowl.) I wanted this to be either sweeter or saltier–the bland, “no man’s land” taste wasn’t doing it for me. On the plus side, this had a good mix of tofu, veggies, and rice, and I loved the thickness of the tortilla.

Cost: $2.44

Rating: 5/10

Would I buy again: No

 

Product Review: Amy’s Sheperd’s Pie

My roommate and I get way too excited about food.

Case in point: I’m sitting in my room, studying for my Linguistics midterm (cough reading Game of Thrones) when she comes bounding in.

“Hey, did you see that Sandwich Factory had vegan sheperd’s pies?!” She asked me.

“No way!” I yelled. “Let’s go!”

So even though we were both in our pajamas, we walked a half-mile to one of our campus eateries so we could buy these pies. Talk about high expectations, right?

And then after all that, I put my pie in the fridge and promptly forgot about for a couple days.

Traditionally, this dish is made with vegetables, beef, and a crust of mashed potatoes. Amy’s version obviously skips the meat–plus, it’s low in sodium! Honesty time: sodium is one of those things I don’t care about or pay attention to but feel like I should.

I un-boxed this and was a little dismayed to see the plastic was smeared with frozen food. It looked like the pie hadn’t stayed confined to its bowl. Kind of unappetizing, but I forged on and popped it in the microwave.

On the plus side, this made my kitchen smell amazing. The aroma was quite homey, rustic, and comforting. I felt like I was in Game of Thrones, about to tuck into my hardy dinner before riding off to defeat those nasty Lannisters.

As you can see, the mashed potato crust “slid” off its foundation a little bit. The crust was really good–it tasted buttery, probably due to the safflower oil, and had the optimal saltiness level. Definitely the mashed potatoes of my youth that I know and love.

However, the veggies underneath were a bit watery and bland. The melange almost tasted like pizza sauce, as the dominating taste was oregano or a similar spice. I ended up leaving about half of the vegetables un-eaten.

Consistency-wise, this was spot-on: nice and soft, with a thick topping and tenderized Garbanzo beans. The size was also pretty good. Even though I didn’t eat all of it, it was filling, and only 160 calories.

Ultimately, I just wish they had changed the spice profile or made the veggies more flavorful.

Cost: $4.95 (definitely over-priced because I bought it on-campus)

Rating: 6/10

Would I buy again: No

Taste-off: Vegan Trader Joe’s Wraps

In previous posts I’ve discussed my love for TJ’s Grilled Eggplant Wraps. Every time I went to Trader Joe’s, I’d zoom straight to the prepared foods section, completely ignoring all the other offerings for what I considered the ultimate prize. However, one day my friend asked me how I liked the other wraps.

“Well, I’ve never tried them,” I replied.

She gave me a blank stare. “You mean you eat two to three of the eggplant ones per week and you’ve never tried the others?!?” So, dear readers, I took a chance. Here were the results.

The veggie wrap contains a mix of cabbage, carrots, radishes, broccoli, green onions, and parsley, with hummus mixed evenly throughout. The first bite I got was pure cabbage. One thing that annoys me about these wraps is that there’s not very much stuffing on the ends, so you lose a significant portion of “balanced flavor” bites. And unlike the Eggplant wrap, there was no sauce mixture coating the lavash, so that chunk full of slaw and wheat was pretty un-enjoyable.

I liked the next bite better, as I got into the rest of the vegetables.

The garbanzo bean flavor was quite strong; it didn’t really taste like traditional hummus, more like straight-up mashed chickpeas. There was a lemony, slightly acidic flavor that I couldn’t tell if I enjoyed or not. Honestly, although I finished the whole thing, that confusion characterized the entire experience–did I like this? I couldn’t tell. (Never a good sign.)

In terms of texture, this was good. The lavash stayed soft even though it had been several days since I had gone to Trader Joe’s, and the vegetables were nice n’ crunchy. I also liked how packed this was. This kind of reminded me of a chicken salad, in terms of consistency and flavor.

But I can’t recommend it, since my feelings were lukewarm at best.

Cost: $3.99

Would I buy again: Nah

Rating: 6/10

The Spicy Lentil Wrap was greeted with enthusiastic cries by my check-out woman.

“Oh my god, this is a staff favorite,” she gushed. Do my Eggplant wraps ever get that kind of acclaim? Nope, never. In fact, they rolled by on the… black rubber rolling thing? What’s the name for that?!? Anyways, I digress. They rolled by and she didn’t say a word. So my expectations for these were high.

The lentils are strong with this one.

And… I didn’t love ’em. They start out with the same wrap basics: lavash, cabbage, canola oil, spices. Then, some lentil and bulgar is added into the mix. I don’t know, there just wasn’t a whole lot of flavor here! The lentils were gushy and bland, and I didn’t enjoy the spicy tahini dressing. It just tasted like watery almonds to me. Hey, you can buy that! It’s called almond milk.

Cost: $3.99

Would I buy again: No

Rating: 7/10

Ultimately, it all comes down to the Grilled Eggplant wraps. These are mere shadows, keeping to the corners while he basks in the golden glow of my affection.

Don’t worry, big guy. That was the last time I’ll stray.

Product Review: Trader Joe’s Grilled Eggplant Wrap

Disclaimer: this is one of my favorite meals. Ever. I don’t have a car at college, so getting to TJ’s to buy these puppies is a seriously arduous task, involving bribes, emotional manipulation, and sexual favors. Just kidding about that last part. Anyways, despite the Odyssey-esque trek required to get these, I’m addicted enough to manage it at least twice a month, when I’ll buy four at once.

But to the review!

 

The grilled eggplant wrap is essentially two huge slices of lavash bread, slathered with garlic sauce (canola oil and garlic), and filled with fresh cabbage and grilled eggplant. It also comes with spicy tahini sauce, but I’ve never used it, because this wrap is delicious enough by itself.

I warmed this up in the microwave for forty-five seconds; I’ve also eaten it cold, but it’s way better slightly warm.

Starting with the lavash– I’m guessing the sandwich had been made that morning, because it was incredibly soft and flaky. There are several layers of the bread, so even though it’s light it’s still capable of holding a ton of veggies.

My very first bite didn’t include any eggplant. That was a little off-putting. Everyone’s had that unfortunate burrito experience where the first bite is all tortilla, right? Fortunately, even though the first bite was all lavash, it still had the delightful, salty zing of the garlic sauce, so my taste buds weren’t bored.

My second bite was lavash plus cabbage. The cabbage is bitter and, by itself, pretty tasteless. However, it goes very nicely with the meatiness of the eggplant and gives the wrap some crunch. Finally, in the third bite, I got to said eggplant! It’s thick and generously seasoned with the same general ingredients that are in the garlic sauce, giving it a rich, salty flavor. Carnivores definitely would not be able to complain that this wrap is “rabbit food.”

Here’s the nutritional breakdown. 380 calories for an extremely filling, satisfying entree? Not too shabby, in my opinion. Plus, the ingredients are fairly simple and straight-forward. One of these days, I will stop exhorting people to take me to Trader Joe’s and just make these myself. Here’s a copycat recipe I found.

Cost: $3.99

Would I buy again: Do I need to say it yet another time?

Rating: 9/10